The disturbed sleeps have never been a common occurrence to him, with last night being an exception. The tumultuous thoughts and barrels of memories kept rolling in his mind until 4AM, inciting an belligerence between sleep and nostalgia. This reprise of thoughts was disturbing and continued to bother him even after he woke up, hinting a tide of negativity to come.
Just as he was tucking himself deep beneath the quilt and forcing himself hard out of the unexpected and unwelcome dreams, the phone rang. A call that stopped his breath for a while, pushing his body out of the bed, and numbing his senses until the first word was spoken over the phone. “How are you?”, it took a while and multiple questioning to bring him to his senses and he replied with a smugly sigh and smile, for this question was thrown at him by the same person who once meant life to him.
The same voice that loitered his dreams, the voice with whom he cherished countless memories and which meant the world to him 3 years back was now troubling him despite its melancholy. The coarse of conversation felt like watching a movie of his own past all alone in a theater, when all of a sudden you see yourself change and come back as a different person, with new mindset, new outlook and new soul. A person who once cared way too much for anything and everything no longer cared at all, all of which happened because of the same voice three years back.
Just as the conversation stretched past 20 mins the phone slipped out of his hands cracking on the floor, not that he wanted to but rather his heart intended to, for the words spoken and the message conveyed buried all his stock of strength reserved for the day. Not surprising- for the message conveyed over tears and heartfelt words broke his heart, leave alone his mobile.
He took time and sat on the edge of his bed, heaving his breath with discomfort and pain. The news of her proposed marriage arranged by her parents never came as a surprise to him for some miracles in life can never happen despite the sincere efforts and most holy prayers by both the longing hearts. He muttered curses at the social systems and customs that hindered and arrested their love, crushing their bones of emotions and clogging their feelings until it succumbed to satisfy the likes of her family. That was the only time he forgot his patriotic zeal, cursing himself for being born in a country where being from a same caste was more important than the feelings of two souls.
But he knew even the gods wouldn’t have answers to his helplessness for it was too late and sitting miles away on a foreign country he went back to his daily customary practice for the past 3 years, he resumed his prayers for her happiness and salubriousness to the very same gods who have been deaf to his own, hoping one day that this practice of caste-ism would end and not love.
It is the true story of a young man who knows the importance of his caste name, for had it been different, it would have meant a life that he could have lived with his loved one….
lust4happiness 