“The Unheard Prayers- II”

A lonely summer evening with the sun shining bright,
He watched the city’s lushness from the man built concrete heights.

The wind blew hard in his face, whistling in his ears,
Bringing back his senses from the warp of memories and unshed tears.

He watched his train derail and come to a muzzling halt,
Reminding that names and stars can sometimes be at fault.

The marriage of a girl who once meant his life,
Now boarding another train as another man’s wife.

The vows were exchanged, promising each other for years,
His prayers unheard and deaf to god’s ears.

He watched the train leave and go far away,
Knowing it will be gone and never come again.

“The Unheard Prayers”

The disturbed sleeps have never been a common occurrence to him, with last night being an exception. The tumultuous thoughts and barrels of memories kept rolling in his mind until 4AM, inciting an belligerence between sleep and nostalgia. This reprise of thoughts was disturbing and continued to bother him even after he woke up, hinting a tide of negativity to come.

Just as he was tucking himself deep beneath the quilt and forcing himself hard out of the unexpected and unwelcome dreams, the phone rang. A call that stopped his breath for a while, pushing his body out of the bed, and numbing his senses until the first word was spoken over the phone. “How are you?”, it took a while and multiple questioning to bring him to his senses and he replied with a smugly sigh and smile, for this question was thrown at him by the same person who once meant life to him.

The same voice that loitered his dreams, the voice with whom he cherished countless memories and which meant the world to him 3 years back was now troubling him despite its melancholy. The coarse of conversation felt like watching a movie of his own past all alone in a theater, when all of a sudden you see yourself change and come back as a different person, with new mindset, new outlook and new soul. A person who once cared way too much for anything and everything no longer cared at all, all of which happened because of the same voice three years back.

Just as the conversation stretched past 20 mins the phone slipped out of his hands cracking on the floor, not that he wanted to but rather his heart intended to, for the words spoken and the message conveyed buried all his stock of strength reserved for the day. Not surprising- for the message conveyed over tears and heartfelt words broke his heart, leave alone his mobile.

He took time and sat on the edge of his bed, heaving his breath with discomfort and pain. The news of her proposed marriage arranged by her parents never came as a surprise to him for some miracles in life can never happen despite the sincere efforts and most holy prayers by both the longing hearts. He muttered curses at the social systems and customs that hindered and arrested their love, crushing their bones of emotions and clogging their feelings until it succumbed to satisfy the likes of her family. That was the only time he forgot his patriotic zeal, cursing himself for being born in a country where being from a same caste was more important than the feelings of two souls.

But he knew even the gods wouldn’t have answers to his helplessness for it was too late and sitting miles away on a foreign country he went back to his daily customary practice for the past 3 years, he resumed his prayers for her happiness and salubriousness to the very same gods who have been deaf to his own, hoping one day that this practice of caste-ism would end and not love.

It is the true story of a young man who knows the importance of his caste name, for had it been different, it would have meant a life that he could have lived with his loved one….

“The cold feelings”

“Travel, home, briyani, bike, gym, movies, sleep”,  these words commonly summed up my life until a month back when with the screeching tyres of the Boing flight landed in Calgary hiding the screens of Chennai life and making an grandeur hopes of Canadian life nestle in me. My months of inactiveness writing a blog was promptly spent in establishing my home and getting myself a diet of the local systems and customs.

The first thoughts of excitement was soon hijacked by the fabled bitter chillness that crept through the warmest of my clothes and tried to breach my fort of confidence. Having come from a tropical country, Calgarian weather was an experience different altogether, the hoodies which I had used as a fashion statement back home soon found its genuine purpose. Well let me wrap the weather narration and get back to my cup of emotions intended to pour out.

The honeymoon days of excitement, meeting new people, soon took the centre stage and a breeze of friendship swept everyone’s heart until when “The culture shock”, a term which was emphasised all along my orientation began to take its toll. By the way it wasn’t the native way of life that shocked me but rather the attitude swings of those fellow newly immigrated souls which was surprising. The bridges of desired friendships never stood the tide of time. “New people, new life, new priorities”, a phrase that cannot describes best when people’s priorities change over time. The mood swings became frequent, home sickness testing me despite the strong communication. I could sense negativity and sadness slowly creeping in and managing human relationships became tougher than bracing the winter. But if winter comes, can summer be far behind?

I soon experienced the rays of positivity when I cut the cord of expectations and rather embraced acceptance. And then the adrenaline of happiness just kicks in….You realise what’s important and what isn’t, You remember all the tough times you were in and when you had lost all hopes that they’d recover, and then you smile J. You smile because the mountains of trouble that was once threatening is now nothing but a pile of dust in the wind. All the while I had been ignoring the lessons of happiness which I have been prophesying myself through this blog. You realise that life is too short to worry about stupid things, things that don’t deserve attention. Things may look alarming but there is always hope, all you got to do is not succumb to pressure. As the 13th century poet Rumi puts it,

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world.

Today I’m wise, so I am changing myself”

It all begins in your mind, what you think you create. Happiness begins with you.

“Peace with Past”

“The daring summer shine and the hot humid air,
my life soo still yet thoughts carried away by her pretty cheeky stare.
I woke up sweating and panting from the sleep, 
wanting to forget the tale of my fall into the steep”.

2yrs later….

I neither forgot the smile nor the events of the past but rather now I’m more happy than I have ever been by simply embracing and jetttisoning the past for my happiness. “Past, Peace and Present” are words that juxtapose each other for It’s not uncommon for a person to have some memories which shook him, changed him and forced him to be person he is of today. What happened in the past is irreversible but it’s a clear choice of perspective whether to succumb to it or rather build an empire with bricks of happiness and smile.

The past is similar to an artist’s pallete, wherein the different colours with varying shades, texture and composition can aptly be compared to the different memories and feelings, both good and bad alike. One may predominate another, however you can either use it to paint a beautiful life ahead or let it dry and parch out and finally render it worthless. 

  • The first bold step in this direction would be to forget, forgive and stop the passage of expectations. Cut the blame game for your own happiness and not because they are wrong.
  • Be bold enough to accept the reality. Your experience in life is everything. Your lessons, mistakes, highs and lows all make up who you are and YOU are responsible for your life.
  • An ideal mind is devil’s paradise. Keep yourself engaged, be it sports, books, or appreciable quality time with your friends and near ones. They can move the storm out of your life.
  • Accept yourself. Be the best version of yourself, you may not be of what others expect but you can’t be someone who you aren’t. So celebrate yourself.
  • The past should be a place of reference and not residence. Dwelling in the past would deprive us of the sanity to enjoy the present and it blinds us to colours of life. 

Someday we’ll forgot the hurt and the reason behind it, but rather regret the time wasted clinging and worrying over it. So, weather the past and enjoy the rainbow, life happens in seasons and get a lesson from each. Happiness begins with YOU ! 

“Money and Happiness”

“Money”, a word sure to catch anyone’s attentions and get the heads turning. From the day we are born until we shell a coin to the boatman in our last ride, money carries sense and importance. While the sane ones judiciously disregard it as mere paper, some worship or fear it and perhaps sometimes they are right for this 2.5 x 6 inch paper has toppled many governments, won wars, propagandas and importantly it’s an elixir to the destitute and the hungered souls. If the tentacles of money is so outreaching, is it powerful enough to drive our inner self and more specifically our happiness?.

I’ve always emphasized in my earlier posts that happiness is independent of materialistic possessions but saying that I believe that it feels lot more comfortable to smile sitting in a Benz than smile when being financially broken. Money gives direction and importantly the confidence to pursue your desires and sometimes even hold our heads high in society. When we turn our time into money then people will flog asking “can I have a minute”. The choices and opportunities are surfeited enabling a person to weigh his choices and decisions at a time of need. Would hate to generalize but Most of our modern problems can simply be fixed by being rich. It’s a big judgement and I wish I could agree with you, but pragmatically in the end we’d both be wrong. 

But there is a clear demarcation between the cost of happiness and the cost of your lifestyle. While it cost 0.00$ to be happy and be contended with what life offers, it costs to live the life of your dreams and desires especially when you have goals that are big. Money can’t teach you to be happy but the vice versa is very much practical and probable. For example what is the point of being a billionaire when you can’t have a peaceful sleep at night, it’s like feeling thirsty while swimming in the lake. With money comes greater responsibilities but a happy mind would empower us to enjoy the dearth and abundance of money alike. Happiness is purely self driven with the bliss attained being intangible however money can influence the way you wish to be happy but can never decide whether you are happy. 

“The journey of Rain and Train”

The continuous jabber, twerking seats, silver haired or baldy uncles sharing their life’s experiences voluntarily, hawkers pitching hard to sell their merchandise, floors littered with eateries which is noticeable to everyone except the concerned cleaning agency, few of my mundane observations of journey in Indian Railways. My usually jejune travel experience with Indian railways is unexpectedly turning out to be a pleasantry as I type. 

Sitting beside the widow I’m glued to the never ending parallel railway tracks to my right which though occasionally being shrouded by rattling rail cars, seems to be my only non human companion for the past four hours as it grazes my thoughts on the positive contours of my mind. With an orange flame marking the horizon, the torpid sun seems to be cocooned back to its home beyond the distant silhouetted mountains. The passing fields ploughed for harvest, cattles and live stocks being goaded by the Shepard, the smell of the distant rain, the verdant Southern plains, petite brick houses with their contrasting colours and features, goes forth my observation to which I was blind on all my previous travel experiences nor wasn’t interested to even give attention but suddenly they seem to satiate me with peace. 

It’s experiences like these that remind me that beauty of travel lies not only in exploring and unravelling the destination but in finding solace enroute to it. To my surprise I didn’t feel the urge to even pop a game in my mobile or read a book, yet I am enjoying the simple things around me. Nature can be your best companion and sometimes even have answers for deepest life problems provided you open your eyes to it. Happiness starts with YOU. 

“What is happiness?”

A question that would unsurprisingly invite multifaceted answers is something which intrigued scholars and common man alike for thousands of years and continues to be a debatable one. I jumped into this quest two years back and now I present an abstract of my interpretation of happiness. Before elucidating let me clear the most common misperception about happiness. Riding an expensive car, Healthy relationship, Date with your girl, rewarding career Etc etc, would definitely tempt anyone to misjudge it for happiness. But Contradicting the popular notion, they cloak and imitate it but don’t actually open the door to happiness. They are mere Add-ons or perhaps even an outcome of happiness. So let me brief my understanding.

Happiness is peace in your mind and smile in your face even in the absence of the everything and presence of nothing. It is an outcome of a state of mind which cherishes and nourishes the positivity and negativity alike around you, enjoying the life the way it threads amidst all the maliciousness that you may encounter. It is independent of materialistic possessions, dependancy or expectations. In this capitalistic world everyone searches for happiness outside failing to look inside where the chest of happiness awaits to be opened. Once unlocked, It provides a vision to look at the world and respond to it without having or causing any displeasure or pique to yourself and the people around you. In a sense it is liberation from the shackles of negativity and fear, for the mind is empowered to pursue its desires. 

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”
                                                                                                    -Mahatma Gandhi

While some may disagree with my self centric definition of happiness and argue that happiness lies in the joy of giving or helping, I believe that happiness is contagious and the “willingness to help others” wouldn’t have been born without happiness in self. It is a feeling which needs to be felt from inside by sowing seeds of positivity, accepting the reality and learning to enjoy simple things in life, which unfortunately goes unnoticed to naked eyes primarily for the reason that it does not have a price tag. Love, money, relationship are all branches of the happiness tree, but the root is YOU. You are responsible for your happiness and it begins with YOU. Discover yourself! 

“The love for Iron”

I still remember that day, the sound of distant thundering, dark overcast sky and deserted streets and alleys owing to the anticipated inundation. A day that changed my life a big way-physically ,mentally and emotionally. Ignoring the possible downpour, I rode to Talwalkars fitness studio in my new Royal Enfield classic 350 and signed up for an annual membership. Little did I know that day that fitness would change my life forever and here I am sharing the experience of my near 540 day journey and as to how it helped me to become a better person.

The first few months of gymming was a desperate bid to battle the loneliness and kill time, for my life was at its nadir cloyed with insecurity. In an effort to keep myself occupied, I was training twice a day with cardiovascular exercise in the morning and weight training later in the day. The change in me was evident and I felt better with every passing day. Brimming confidence and a sense of purpose and satisfaction justified the time spent at gym. I liked the person I was becoming.

It was then I met Kani, 23, a long haired, black tank sporting young man whose physique with a perfect balance between symmetry and muscle mass was something I dreamt off since childhood. His acquaintance gave a new dimension to my passion and I vowed to earn that physique no matter how hard the journey is. With specific inputs and knowledge on training and nutrition from him and many others I sweated out every day in gym, pushing myself to he zenith of my physical limits. While my body began to respond to the hard work, my mind sensed and responded to the positivity around me to which I was blind all along. I started enjoying the struggle and soreness for it was taking me closer to my dreams. I liked the person I was becoming.

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An idle mind is devils paradise and with gymming I felt committed and found peace. This sport demands high degree of discipline which aids a person to not only build his personality but also his character. A better body, A better person and a better YOU. What started as an hobby became an addiction once I saw the results. In respect of the sport which was a salvation to me, I dedicate the following write up.

“In the wickedness of the moonlight path with hoods and tracks,

the heart pounds to gym to bridge it’s cracks.

MONSTER BEATS over ear, pain and sweat there to steer,

none can stop me for the dream is soo near.

With pain and struggle making my body sore,

Ain’t backing now cos I love it and want it even more.

Never alone and will never ever be,

Forever my love, the iron will be.”

The joy of a good workout is unparalleled, with a sense of pride that you are inching on closer to a goal no one can see, except you because unlike money, good physique is something you can’t inherit from someone, Its earned. It wasn’t easy and it will never be, It’s the difficulty that makes it special and worthy. I can’t recount the number of days I missed hangouts with my friends, skipped my favourite food etc, for which I was laughed at, but guess who is laughing now? Everyone sees the result but not the endless hours spent in the gym, sweating, screaming and enduring the pain. I can’t envision how my life would have been had I not set my foot in the gym that day. Whether you are lost, broken or sad, there is always hope and it is spelled G.Y.M.

“The Law of attraction”

In the scorching summer heat with abundance of time to dally, I was pondering about the various ideas that rippled through my mind but wasn’t convinced to bring them under the same umbrella. The ideas though credible to expatiate were unique and fundamentally different. “The attraction….”, sounded the voice from TV and this was more than enough to help me decide on my topic and keep my thoughts and words flowing. “The law of attraction”, my subject of expression is a widely tested and credible principle which was widely publicised in the recent years by Western print media despite its existence for thousands of years. Vedic literature with its philosophical maxims is a standing example for my claim. Though I’m tempted to write pages I promise to keep this post as terse as possible.

Science has taught us that unlike charges attract, so does universe but with different polarity-positivity attracts positivity, negativity attracts negativity. Human minds are in a constant sync with the universe with our actions and thoughts deciding the likely outcome of the future. When the mind effeminates positivity, the universe conspires and invites positivity to you which in turn gets reflected in your daily life. You can convince yourself that it was an act of God you worship or the awakening of God in you, either way it’s happiness which results.

Have you ever wondered or asked yourself as to why you find peace and solace in a place of worship be it a temple,church, mosque etc? I personally believe that when people congregate to pray and wish for good things to happen, it’s positive energy they effeminate and your like mindedness and presence amidst positive vibes will invite you the much needed mental peace and happiness, indicators of positive energy.

When you wish and pray good things for others good things happen to you, this is the simple relation between law of attraction and happiness. Despite attempt to derail your patience by immature people and naysayers, never give up on your practice of this simple principle. The best escape would be to “Ignore” (on which I have elucidated in my last post ), for your silence is loaded with answers. Many self improvement books and articles emphasise the importance of positivity and implementation of the “Law of attraction”, with the most popular one being that of Rhonda Byrne’s, “The Secret”. Celebrate yourself today! Refuse negative thoughts and focus only on positivity & happiness and enjoy the wonders it brings to your life. Your attention to anything is drawing it closer to you, so decide on what you want to attend to- positivity or negativity? Would like to end with a quote dear to me.

“Your thoughts are the architects of your destiny.”

Happiness starts with YOU.

“The Art of Ignoring”

“What a day it has been!”, hopefully the last few words out of my mouth for the day and powerful enough to send mixed signals to the listener. Let me cut the conundrum and admit that it was an amazing day, not because the tide of life was so benevolent to me but rather I continued to sail with positive vibes in an ocean that’s constantly trying to drown you with hate, jealousy, pain, broken trust and many surprises that will clog your happiness. Don’t be surprised if you have been a victim of the above mentioned but if you had let those influence your happiness then there’s something to introspect and I wish to concentrate my time on a simple gerund, Ignoring .

“Ignore” Is not merely a six letter word but rather a sixth sense virtue which would unlock the treasure of happiness. The world is no short of naysayers for whom any act of outsmarting or outwitting means war, but do you want drive your life on their fuel? If not, then there is no logical reason as to why you got to take them seriously. Never let people with small minds make you succumb to their deficit ideas and convince you that your dreams are big. There is a subtle difference between overlooking in the sense of not-seeing and conscious disregard which is seeing but choosing to ignore. The latter might appear as weakness, but ignoring implies judicious action- action in inaction. So feed happiness to your soul by practicing the act of ignoring the negativity. But to master the art of ignoring, one has to realize that the ultimate purpose of our life is happiness. The self-realization of that would bring an awakening and as a reflex a person would channelize his/her energy towards self-improvement and happiness. Remember, I meant self-realization and not self-imposition. Make your happiness a priority. Happiness starts with you, not with your career, not with your relationships, not with your money, but with YOU.